it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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