The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i would one night stand the shit outta him
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
