And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Randomize
