absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
