someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
