Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
