Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize