I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
