It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
