You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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