My hand turned me down
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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