He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
