It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
