Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
