just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize
