Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize