How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
it's like heaven, but drunker
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He did a backflip because drugs
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
