Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I didn't notice because vodka
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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