I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
