the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
