I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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