i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Randomize
