Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
