That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
