oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
