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So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
