My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize