She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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