He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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