I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
