Whod you bang
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Randomize