ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize