Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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