Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
