My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
