barbara walters just said penis...
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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