Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
