The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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