I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
