I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
