I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
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