we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Randomize
