whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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