guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
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