How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
