I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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