Don't you send me to vm
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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