His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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