Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
