am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
