turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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