Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
