East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
