Im at strip club and am horny
I'd wear matching sweaters with you
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
