and you said cock pushups were impossible
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize
