I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
