margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
